Goodbye... Forever?

Today was my last day with Mrs. K's class. Words would not be enough. They were my first class. I'll always have a place in my heart for these kids.


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"Hey Mario, are you gonna miss me when I leave?"
"Uh, huh. Please don't leave!"
I laughed at his expressions and mannerisms.

"Are you gonna come back next year?"
"Well Mario, I really don't know. It's not really up to me."
"Aw, I wish you could come back."
"I really wish I could come back too. Hey Mario, will you really be my best friend?"
"Of course! As long as you're my best friend, I'll be your best friend!"
"Sounds like a good deal to me."

I sat there thinking about his promise. I thought about his understanding of relationships and the affect he had on my life. As the end of the day drew close, I couldn't help but feel a bit sadness. Mario as a child will never truly understand what it could mean for me to leave. If I don't get assigned to the school, the chances of me meeting Mario ever again would be slim to none. The concept is hard to grasp for children, but as adults, we accept this day to day. From a kids perspective, time is not an issue.

As I said my goodbyes, the children took their turns to hug me one by one. Each one giving me a piece of their heart, and the memories I would have of them. As Mario was one of the last of the remaining, I couldn't help but feel my emotions stir when he spoke.

"Bye, I'll see you later!"

Later, I hope to see you later. You have so much to do, so much to see Mario. I hope one day we will meet again, and maybe you'll remember our promise.

The Wiggly Worm

Somewhere between 85-90, that's how hot it was that day. The day that Mr. John became known throughout the second grade. It wasn't any different from the typical day. It was about my second week in and during recess I watch over the kids. I typically don't do anything but it was different today. It had rained in the morning so the kids were only allowed on the blacktop. This meant no jungle gym, no slides, and no swings on the otherside of the playground. This left few options for the little ones, the four swings closests to the school, blacktop, or the wiggly worm.

Sadly, the wiggly worm is always disregarded. It's a piece of equipment that stands abandoned and alone. In a typical recess, the wiggly worm will get two maybe three kids to sit on it for a moment only to be abanadoned moments later. So I approached four of the girls from my classroom and suggested the wiggly worm.

"Hey guys, why don't you try going on the wiggly worm?"
"It's boring!"
"You can't do anything on it."
"The wiggly worm is stupid."
"No it isn't! It looks awesome! I think you guys just need to learn how to use it."

After a moments hesitation, they all looked at each other and decided to give the wiggly worm a shot. I let the girls hop on and like a seesaw I began to push down on one end to bring them up and let gravity bring them back down. I watched as their eyes began to light up as laughter escaped their mouth every time they came down. I can only imagine the delight parents must feel when they see their own child laughing.

Soon the laughter began to draw attention to all those around them. One boy gave into his curiosity and joined the four girls on the wiggly worm. One by one more and more children began to pile on. I started to feel their weight as I continued to push down on the end. Nine, ten kids quickly became seventeen, eighteen. Beads of sweat began forming at my forehead and I could feel my muscles getting a workout. Within five minutes, the wiggly worm was packed, twent-five kids squeezed themseleves on the wiggly worm. A line began to form and then I realized what I had done to myself. I realized the expectations that were come tomorrow's recess. As I looked up I saw the line of children waiting just as many in number on the wiggly worm, it was like an amusement park. Thank God recess is only twenty minutes and we were already fifteen minutes in. Still, as tired as my arms were, I coudln't help but enjoy the smiles and laughter on the childrens faces.

That's when I heard the sweet noise of freedom. Recess was over and the teachers were blowing the whistle to have all the children line up. With a loud unified "aw" the kids ran to their places to return to the classroom. The teachers laughed and I coulnd't help but smile as I left the wiggly worm. One teacher approached me and introduced herself and commented on recess.

"You had twenty-five kids at one point on that thing! The kids love you! I hope you know what you've gotten yourself into. You're getting quite the workout, I'd hate to be you."
I laughed out loud and smiled and realized that she was right. The kids would now expect me to push the wiggly worm. I began to think of how tiring it would be when I felt a tapping on my lower back. I turned around to find a small girl I haven't met before.

"Mr. John, will you do the wiggly worm tomorrow too?"

The little angel batter her eyes at me in hopes that I wouldn't dissapoint. What else could I say?

"Sure, I'd love to do the wiggly worm tomorrow."

Share A Cookie

"No, no, no, no, no! Alan, what did I say? How many times do I have to tell you?"
Alan sat motionless, he had no excuse, he had no reason, but above all, he had no words. I could see the student aid getting frustrated with Alan as he continued to make the same mistake on his math worksheet.

Without any warning, I saw the tears begin to trickle down his face. Tears of frustration flowed down his cheeks with no effort to cover his emotions. All the other children turned their heads but with a voice like a lion, the teacher prompted them to continue their work.

Alan was alone. I could see from across the room that he felt alone. Alan yearned nothing more now than to feel happiness. What goes on in a child's mind when they begin to cry? Where does all sensibility go? Do they wish to become invisible? Is there a sudden desire for their parents? Despite the tears, it was time for lunch. Lunchtime waits for no one. Merciless to Alan, lunch would come and go if he did not take part.

Everyone lined up and Alan was instructed to wash his face and prepare his belongings for what would be a somber meal. The students marched down the hall and into the lunchroom. Alan sat at the last table at the end of the row by himself. Isolation, he did not want to be disturbed. But we all want things, and many times we don't get what we want. One by one, the students approached Alan.

"What's wrong?"
"What happened?"
"You looked like you cried."
"Did you cry?"
"Why did you cry?"
"Are you okay?"

With every question, Alan became more cheerful. In a situation where most adults would snap back and become defensive, the child was turning the situation around. Then I saw something that made me feel what kids would describe "tingly-inside". One boy gave his cookie to Alan. Then a girl gave her cookie to Alan. Then another girl gave her cookie to Alan.

"Here Alan, you can have it." the girl said with a smile.

A cookie. As an adult, cookies aren't anything. But in the lunchroom, cookies are the highest currency. You can trade a cookie for virtually anything. Yet here Alan's friends are, giving him their highest value in their lunch to make his day a little more brighter.

As the day went by, I began to think about how much meaning that gesture really meant. Then I began to think to myself, "When's the last time I gave someone a cookie?"

Don't Play With Scissors!

I looked at my shoe and I saw a little fray. It's about time I got a new pair but they're so comfortable and they pass as business casual. Back to the shoe, I looked at that single fray taunting me with it's defiant attitude sticking out above the rest. I looked around and found a pair of scissors. With a simple motion, the strand was separated from the shoe.

"Mr. John!!!"
I looked up to see Mario with a surprised look on his face.
"Hey Mario, whatsup?"
"You're not supposed to play with scissors!"
From Mario's point of view, there was no paper, there was no arts & crafts. I was holding a pair of scissors in the air. But before I could say anything he walked up to me and took the scissors away from me.
"No, no, no, you're not supposed to do that. You can get hurt when you play with scissors okay?"
I laughed at this boy taking a pair of scissors from an adult.
"Thanks for the advice Mario. I won't play with scissors in the future."
"Good, I'm glad you learned your lesson."

Kids Just Know

There was so much going through my mind. I was stressing out. It was a combination of random thoughts coming together to tell me how short I was from perfect. I felt rigid like plastic and I wanted to let it all go. I should have stayed in bed.

I did my best to walk into the classroom with a bright smile. I greeted the class and took my seat the same place I do everyday at 11:35AM. All the kids looked up and said their usual greeting and went back to their work. But Kurt... Kurt wasn't convinced of my smile. I could see Kurt looking at me every so often. Kurt continued to do this until it was time to pack up for lunch.

"Mr. John, are you feeling okay?"
"Yea Kurt, of course! Everythings great!"
"Are you sure?"
"Why does it seem like somethings wrong?"
"Yea... I mean no... yea."
I let out a fake laugh and smiled at him.

"I just wanted to make sure because you don't seem like you're usual today."
"What do you mean Kurt?"
"Well, you just seem kinda sad today."

What could I say to this boy? I wanted to pour out my heart and tell him all that was going on in my mind. I wanted to warn him about the pressures of growing up, the letdowns, the stress, and the burdens that can weigh him down. But before anything could leave my mouth he said.

"It'll be okay Mr. John. Besides, it's lunch time and then we can go out for recess. If you want, we can play together."

I looked into his eyes, and once again I saw the genuineness and sincerity that is so rare to find in people. He wanted to make my day, he wanted me to know that there is love. That as complicated as the world becomes, that simple things can stir our hearts. I found myself caught up in the moment, I wanted to embrace him, I wanted to love him. Then he grabbed my hand. "Come on Mr. John. It's time to go."

You Never Told Me!

My favorite part of the day is when I walk into the classroom. To see the children's faces light up as I enter and to see them say "Hi Mr. John!". One little girl catches my eye every day, Megan who sits in the row next to me. No matter how tired or exhausted I am, all she has to do is flash me her little smile. A smile that is rare and beautiful. There are few people in this world who can shine a smile the way she does and every smile is a warm gift to light up my day.

So the little girl approached me and asked,
"Mr. John, who's your best friend?"
"I have a lot of friends!" I replied with a smile.
"Yea, but who's your BESTEST friend?"
"I think one of them is Mario."

Mario who was eavesdropping on the conversation suddenly looked at me.
"Me?! I'm one of your best friends?"
"Well of course Mario! I sit next to you everyday!"
"You never told me! I didn't know I was one of your best friends!"

What looked like tears began to form in his eyes. I was taken back by his reaction. I was so confused and was curios as to what was going on in his mind. Soon enough, I realized that he couldn't contain his joy. Words that can be thrown around in the adult word with little to no meaning, meant the whole world to him.

"I want you to be one of my bestest friends too!", he cried out.
"Haha, okay, of course I'll be one of your bestest friends!", I replied.
Mario jumped out of his seat and threw his arms around me. I laughed at his little arms attempting to give me a hug. I hugged him back trying to show him how much I valued his friendship. It must have been a sight to see. Like a bear hugging a rabbit.

My heart moved at that moment, but it wasn't his words or his hug. When I looked into his eyes, I saw the genuineness of his affection, his love, and his friendship. I have a friend, and his name is Mario.

Between Friends

"You're so stupid, why would you run to home plate?"
"I don't know... I just wanted to run."
"You got out, you don't know what you're doing. Thanks a lot we lost cause of you."
"You don't have to be so mean."

The boy held in his frustration and disappointment. This was the first time he was bullied at school. In a bully free zone, a place where he should have felt safe became tainted with a few hateful words.

He held in his tears as long as he could. Once he entered the classroom, he burst and all you could see were his hands covering his face as a puddle began to form in his desk.

The teacher came up to him and asked him what was wrong. After a short talk, the teacher spent time to scold the other boy. But at the moment, the boy was still hurt. What did he do to deserve such harsh words? Was their friendship so shallow that a simple out in a game of kickball could change their bond?

Seeing the pain in his eyes I walked over to him and told him to breathe in and get a drink of water to calm down. The boy walked slowly to the other side of the classroom to get a drink from the water fountain. Then out of the corner of my eye I saw him. The boy who normally sits quiet at his desk. The boy rose out of his seat and walked towards the sad boy.

"Don't worry. I'll still be your best friend forever. It doesn't matter what anyone else says. I don't care about kickball. Kickballs stupid anyway."

The boy sealed the words with a hug, gentle but firm and proof of their friendship. What else could I do but sit back and grin at the innocent, pure, and honest love between friends.