There was so much going through my mind. I was stressing out. It was a combination of random thoughts coming together to tell me how short I was from perfect. I felt rigid like plastic and I wanted to let it all go. I should have stayed in bed.
I did my best to walk into the classroom with a bright smile. I greeted the class and took my seat the same place I do everyday at 11:35AM. All the kids looked up and said their usual greeting and went back to their work. But Kurt... Kurt wasn't convinced of my smile. I could see Kurt looking at me every so often. Kurt continued to do this until it was time to pack up for lunch.
"Mr. John, are you feeling okay?"
"Yea Kurt, of course! Everythings great!"
"Are you sure?"
"Why does it seem like somethings wrong?"
"Yea... I mean no... yea."
I let out a fake laugh and smiled at him.
"I just wanted to make sure because you don't seem like you're usual today."
"What do you mean Kurt?"
"Well, you just seem kinda sad today."
What could I say to this boy? I wanted to pour out my heart and tell him all that was going on in my mind. I wanted to warn him about the pressures of growing up, the letdowns, the stress, and the burdens that can weigh him down. But before anything could leave my mouth he said.
"It'll be okay Mr. John. Besides, it's lunch time and then we can go out for recess. If you want, we can play together."
I looked into his eyes, and once again I saw the genuineness and sincerity that is so rare to find in people. He wanted to make my day, he wanted me to know that there is love. That as complicated as the world becomes, that simple things can stir our hearts. I found myself caught up in the moment, I wanted to embrace him, I wanted to love him. Then he grabbed my hand. "Come on Mr. John. It's time to go."
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